If at first you do not succeed, destroy all evidence that you ever tried
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing
In the event of an emergency landing why do the people in the pamphlet look so calm?
I can't wait to see how you look when I'm naked
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights do make a left
3 words to ruin a guys ego. is it in??
You can better lose a lover than love a loser
I'm only crazy when other people cant stand that I'm right
Women/Men are like public toilets, they are either taken or full of crap!
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one
Work harder: People on welfare depend on you
Me breaking the rules? No. I test their elasticity
Be back later...my dog ate my car keys....we are hitchhiking to the vet's office
We came, we saw, we drank beer
Geniuses are never understood in their own lifetimes
You can trust the government, just ask the Indians
Be nice to your children. For they will be choosing your nursing home someday
Don't drink and drive. You might spill your beer
Save water, drink beer
Everybody makes mistakes, that's why they put erasers on pencils
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